Dealing with change
Author: Clare Evans
Article: Dealing with change.
"The only constant is change". Change is something that affectsus all in our lives some more serious and impacting than others.Moving house, changing jobs, redundancy, divorce, losing a loved one, death, they all affect us in different ways and our ability to cope varies from the type of person we are, to how strong wefeel at the time, what else is going on for us at the time andour level of stress.
When we experience change we all go through a natural responsecurve that will vary according to speed and intensity fromperson to person.
Essentially there are six main stages to this curve.
Shock and Denial - often when we first hear the news or are impacted by change we experience shock, denial, confusion,fear, numbness and blame. How often do you hear people say "Ican't believe this is happening" or appear cold, unemotional andnot react when they first hear the news?
Anger/Resistance - this often follows on after theinitial shock. Frustration, anxiety, irritation, embarrassmentand shame. Wanting to take it out on someone else or blamesomeone for the situation you're in.
Dialogue/Bargaining - as we start to come to terms withthe situation we are more likely to be able to talk about it.Often the healing part of the process happens when we arewilling to talk about what's happened. It really does help. Manypeople who have been through change and emotional upheaval findit helps to share their experience with others either in asupport group or with a professional.
Depression - at the bottom of the curve comes a sense ofoverwhelm and helplessness. This may result in a completeinability to function and no energy or motivation to doanything. People may withdraw into themselves - physically andmentally and switch off emotionally.
Acceptance - when you're ready to move on you are moreable to accept what has happened, start to explore new optionsand put plans in place for the future. It becomes easier tothink more positively and this in itself has a beneficial effect.
Return to normality - while 'normality' may not bepossible in some cases of loss, once you have accepted thesituation, moving forward to a more secure and meaningfulexistence is once again possible.
What you also find is that you will swing to and fro within thechange curve and may pass through certain stages more quicklythan others. Some people stay stuck at a particular pointbecause they don't know how to move on and this can hold themback for months and even years and stops them from . You mayalso find yourself going backward as you adjust to the changebefore finally being able to move forward.
If you're going through a period of change - I hope that this helps you to recognise where you are and that it's OK to feel all these emotions. If you're having trouble dealing with asignificant change and what's significant to you may not besignificant to others - then don't be afraid to put your hand upand ask for help and support. That may be from your partner,friends or a professional. The quicker you learn to deal withyour emotions, the quicker you will be able to move on and growstronger as a result.
About the author:Clare works with individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively. Learn how to prioritise, plan and delegate. Spend your time doing what matters and stop worrying about the things that don't.
Sign-up for a free monthly newsletter at http://www.clareevans.co.uk or email claresnews@aweber.com
Peter J Jackson, Australian Funeral Directors
Article: Dealing with change.
"The only constant is change". Change is something that affectsus all in our lives some more serious and impacting than others.Moving house, changing jobs, redundancy, divorce, losing a loved one, death, they all affect us in different ways and our ability to cope varies from the type of person we are, to how strong wefeel at the time, what else is going on for us at the time andour level of stress.
When we experience change we all go through a natural responsecurve that will vary according to speed and intensity fromperson to person.
Essentially there are six main stages to this curve.
Shock and Denial - often when we first hear the news or are impacted by change we experience shock, denial, confusion,fear, numbness and blame. How often do you hear people say "Ican't believe this is happening" or appear cold, unemotional andnot react when they first hear the news?
Anger/Resistance - this often follows on after theinitial shock. Frustration, anxiety, irritation, embarrassmentand shame. Wanting to take it out on someone else or blamesomeone for the situation you're in.
Dialogue/Bargaining - as we start to come to terms withthe situation we are more likely to be able to talk about it.Often the healing part of the process happens when we arewilling to talk about what's happened. It really does help. Manypeople who have been through change and emotional upheaval findit helps to share their experience with others either in asupport group or with a professional.
Depression - at the bottom of the curve comes a sense ofoverwhelm and helplessness. This may result in a completeinability to function and no energy or motivation to doanything. People may withdraw into themselves - physically andmentally and switch off emotionally.
Acceptance - when you're ready to move on you are moreable to accept what has happened, start to explore new optionsand put plans in place for the future. It becomes easier tothink more positively and this in itself has a beneficial effect.
Return to normality - while 'normality' may not bepossible in some cases of loss, once you have accepted thesituation, moving forward to a more secure and meaningfulexistence is once again possible.
What you also find is that you will swing to and fro within thechange curve and may pass through certain stages more quicklythan others. Some people stay stuck at a particular pointbecause they don't know how to move on and this can hold themback for months and even years and stops them from . You mayalso find yourself going backward as you adjust to the changebefore finally being able to move forward.
If you're going through a period of change - I hope that this helps you to recognise where you are and that it's OK to feel all these emotions. If you're having trouble dealing with asignificant change and what's significant to you may not besignificant to others - then don't be afraid to put your hand upand ask for help and support. That may be from your partner,friends or a professional. The quicker you learn to deal withyour emotions, the quicker you will be able to move on and growstronger as a result.
About the author:Clare works with individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively. Learn how to prioritise, plan and delegate. Spend your time doing what matters and stop worrying about the things that don't.
Sign-up for a free monthly newsletter at http://www.clareevans.co.uk or email claresnews@aweber.com
Peter J Jackson, Australian Funeral Directors
posted by Jacqui at Thursday, November 10, 2005
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